Carb-Loading for Humanity: The Great Italian Potluck 2

Before a big race, marathoners load up on carbohydrates so they can accomplish something extraordinary. We're keeping the carbohydrates and eliminating all that tiresome running.

Human progress demands sacrifice. So in the name of science, we will bravely consume heroic quantities of pasta, bread, and tiramisu until our carb-supercharged brains produce an idea worthy of humanity. If nothing emerges, we will order seconds and continue the work.

Perhaps we will solve climate change, or finally figure out how to fold a fitted sheets. More likely, we will lie on the couch in a blissful stupor and forget what we were discussing.

This second event will be on the east side in Boring, Oregon. Our host has a stunning home with spectacular mountain views. Weather permitting, we may even see them.

How to Carry Humanity Forward:

✅ Make a Firm Commitment to Attend
RSVP “Yes” only when you know you can come. If your calendar is still whispering “maybe,” please wait until it stops being mysterious and makes a proper decision.

🍝 Bring a Handmade Italian Dish
No need for advanced culinary training or an elderly Italian relative supervising from the doorway. Choose an Italian dish and make it yourself as best you can. Imperfect and slightly alarming creations are all welcome.

👥 Bringing a Guest? Bring Two Dishes
Every person should contribute one dish. We cannot advance humanity on borrowed lasagna.

⏰ Arrive on Time
Italian food waits for no one. Leave home a few minutes early so your dish arrives warm and the feast can begin with everyone present.

🥤 Bring Your Own Beverage & Serving Utensils
Bring a drink, plus the utensil needed to serve your dish. Food should arrive completely ready to serve, since there will be no last-minute cooking or microwave reheating. Nobody wants to watch 40 hungry people attempt to divide baked ziti with a teaspoon.

💬 Post Your Dish in the Comments Section
Tell us what you plan to bring so we can build a varied Italian feast. Without this vital intelligence, we could end up with twenty-six lasagnas and one deeply overworked salad.

📅 Need to Cancel? Tell Us Three Days Ahead of Time
If your plans change, update your RSVP at least three days before the event, so someone on the waiting list can attend. A last-minute disappearance leaves an empty chair and a breadstick asking difficult questions about abandonment.

Known Side Effects:
🍝 Referring to four helpings as “the warm-up phase.”
🧀 Adding Parmesan to foods that have never requested it.
🛋️ Achieving a level of horizontal relaxation normally associated with geological formations.

Claim your place now. Humanity needs you, and this mountain of carbohydrates is not going to eat itself.