Intimacy, Moi? — Don't Go Looking for Love 親密關係，我嗎？——別刻意去尋找愛情

Are you tired of dating-app burnout? Do you want to slow down and have real, open-hearted conversations about love, relationships, and self-connection?

Join us this month as we begin a slow, thoughtful exploration of “Don’t Go Looking for Love,” a gentle and witty poem by Neha Sonney, creator of Hong Kong arts & culture magazine Pretentious, Moi?

"Don’t go looking for love
It doesn’t live outside of you
It lives in the depths of your heart
It shows in everything you do

Don’t chat up too many matches
In your buffet of dating apps
Their algorithm wants to keep you
Addicted to them in your time-gaps

Don’t look for a relationship
Until you have one with yourself
Keep that dream alive, paint a picture
And put it on your shelf

Don’t look for acceptance from others
First, accept the parts you disown
Revisit your vision on that shelf
Until you form a belief you own

Don’t ask “What will I get?
Instead ask “What do I bring?”
It’s going to be a party of two
It takes two to tango or swing

Don’t go on a date before
You figure out what you want
Heal your hurts from your past
Make peace with memories that haunt

Don’t expect a connection with others
Connection with yourself is the key
Not every door you knock will open
Don’t be the onlooker who can’t see

Don’t look for a relationship
If what you want is a companion
A relationship asks for a lot more
Like loyalty, love, and communication

Don’t follow sexy dating gurus
If they don’t show who they’re with
Don’t overanalyze meaningless texts
Instant chemistry is a myth

Don’t hide behind a screen
When a personal touch is called for
Years of texting mean nothing
Trust face-to-face interaction more

Don’t go chasing people
Make space for the right one
Don’t worry about being liked
Don’t fit in to other’s idea of fun

Don’t go on coffee dates
Sitting across the table taking interviews
Become the best candidate
Go on walks with breathtaking views

Don’t have drinks and dinner
Save that stuff for later
Don’t chase exploration of chemistry
By having sex, then becoming a man-hater?

Don’t ask “Where are you from?”
And “So, what do you do?
Talk about your passion and find out theirs
Suss out the values common between you.

Don’t question your status “What are we?”
You will know without a doubt
A man who wants to be with you
Will make it obvious when you hang out"

What We Do
In a world that rushes, we intentionally slow down. Instead of trying to "finish" the poem in one sitting, we will take it one stanza at a time. This patient approach gives everyone the breathing room to reflect, share their own experiences, or simply sit back and listen.

Because we are taking our time, this will be an ongoing series! Each future meetup will pick up where we left off, allowing us to dig deeper together.

What to Expect

A Welcoming Space: Zero pressure to share if you just want to listen.

Meaningful Connection: Intimate discussions about modern dating, self-growth, and self-connection.

Good Vibes: Laughter, warmth, and small insights that will linger long after the meetup ends.

Who Should Join
This group is for anyone curious about love and relationships, or anyone who just wants to slow down enough to really talk and connect with others.

The Details
When: October 11, Sunday, 10:30 am
Where: Empire Centre, TST

On the ground floor of Empire Centre, meetup will be held at open area for cafe sitting.

For MTR, the nearest station exit is East Tsim Sha Tsui Station (Exit P1), which is a few minutes away from Empire Centre.

Come as you are, grab a coffee, and let's talk about love.

你是否已經對交友軟體感到疲憊？你是否想放慢腳步，進行真正開放而真誠的對話，談談愛、關係，以及與自我的連結？

歡迎在本月加入我們，一起開始細緻而深思的探索之旅，閱讀〈Don’t Go Looking for Love〉——這是一首由香港藝術與文化雜誌《Pretentious, Moi?》創辦人 Neha Sonney 所創作的溫柔又機智的詩。

別去尋找愛，
它不住在你之外；
它藏在你心底深處，
也映照在你所做的一切。

別在交友軟體的自助餐裡，
和太多配對的人聊天；
它們的演算法只想讓你，
在空檔時對它們上癮、流連。

別急著尋找一段關係，
直到你先與自己建立連結；
讓那個夢想繼續活著，描繪成畫，
再把它放到你的架上。

別向別人尋求接納，
先接納那些你否認的部分；
重看架上那幅願景，
直到形成屬於自己的信念。

別問：「我能得到什麼？」
不如問：「我能帶來什麼？」
這會是一場兩個人的舞會，
探戈也好，搖擺也罷，都需要兩人。

別急著赴約，除非
你已弄清楚自己想要什麼；
療癒過去留下的傷，
與那些糾纏你的記憶和解。

別期待能與他人建立連結，
若你還沒與自己相連；
不是每一扇敲響的門都會開，
別成為看不見真相的旁觀者。

別去尋找一段關係，
若你想要的只是個陪伴；
關係要求的遠遠更多，
例如忠誠、愛與溝通。

別盲從那些性感的戀愛導師，
若他們從不展示身邊的人；
別過度解讀毫無意義的訊息，
一見鍾情般的瞬間化學反應只是迷思。

當需要真實接觸時，
別躲在螢幕後面；
多年的文字往來也未必代表什麼，
更該相信面對面的互動。

別追著任何人跑，
為對的人留出空間；
別擔心自己是否討人喜歡，
也別硬湊進別人定義的快樂。

別總去喝咖啡約會，
隔著桌子像在面試；
讓自己成為最好的候選人，
一起散步，走進令人屏息的風景。

別急著喝酒吃晚餐，
那些事留到以後；
別靠先上床來探索化學反應，
最後反而變成怨恨男人的人？

別只問：「你從哪裡來？」
或是：「那你是做什麼工作的？」
談談你的熱情，也了解對方的熱情，
看看你們之間有哪些相通的價值觀。

別反覆追問自己的身分：「我們算什麼？」
你會毫無疑問地知道；
一個真心想和你在一起的男人，
與你相處時，會讓這件事顯而易見。

我們在做什麼
在這個節奏急促的世界裡，我們刻意放慢腳步。我們不會試圖一次「讀完」整首詩，而是逐節細讀。這種耐心的方式，讓每個人都有空間去反思、分享自己的經驗，或只是靜靜聆聽。
因為我們會慢慢來，這將會是一個持續進行的系列活動！每次聚會都會從上次停下的地方繼續，一起更深入地探索。

你可以期待
友善的空間：如果你只想聆聽，完全沒有分享的壓力。
有意義的連結：深入討論現代約會、自我成長，以及與自我的關係。

輕鬆的氛圍：笑聲、溫暖，以及在活動結束後仍會留下的小小啟發。

適合誰參加
這個小組適合任何對愛與關係感到好奇的人，或是想放慢步調、與他人真誠交流的人。

活動詳情
日期：10月11日（星期日）上午10:30
地點：Empire Centre
活動將於 Empire Centre 地面層的開放式咖啡座區域舉行。
如乘搭港鐵，最近的出口為尖東站（P1出口），步行數分鐘即可到達 Empire Centre。

帶著最真實的自己來，點一杯咖啡，一起聊聊愛。