When Church Leaders Hurt People, Where Is God? | Coffee & Conversation

Pastors and church leaders are supposed to care for people, protect them, and help them grow spiritually.
But what happens when the very people entrusted with spiritual leadership become the source of harm?
Maybe you've encountered a controlling pastor, witnessed favoritism, experienced manipulation, or watched a church leadership conflict tear a congregation apart.
Maybe you've heard stories of spiritual abuse and wondered how something like that could happen in a church.
If God calls pastors to shepherd His people, why does He allow some leaders to abuse that trust?
And how can ordinary Christians recognize healthy spiritual leadership before getting hurt?
Let's talk about it over breakfast.

This Week's Roundtable: When Church Leaders Hurt People, Where Is God?

Join us for The Table, a relaxed Saturday morning gathering where we'll discuss what healthy church leadership should look like, how to recognize warning signs, and how Christians can protect themselves while building meaningful relationships within a church.
We'll explore practical questions like:

What are the warning signs of unhealthy, controlling, or manipulative church leadership?
What's the difference between appropriate pastoral authority and spiritual abuse?
How can we tell whether a church has meaningful accountability for its leaders?
What should someone do when a pastor or church leader violates their trust?
What qualities would make you confident that a church is genuinely safe, healthy, and trustworthy?

We'll draw on biblical wisdom from Ezekiel 34:1–16 and John 10:11–15, where Scripture contrasts harmful shepherds with God's concern for His people and Jesus' example as the Good Shepherd.
These passages raise an important question: When spiritual leaders fail, how do we distinguish their behavior from God's actual character?

What to Expect

Good coffee. Real people. Honest conversation.
This isn't a sermon, formal Bible study, counseling session, or opportunity to attack particular churches or pastors.
It's a relaxed, participant-led roundtable where everyone can contribute ideas, share perspectives, ask questions, and learn from one another.
Our goal is practical: to better understand what trustworthy Christian leadership looks like and how healthy communities can protect and care for the people entrusted to them.
You don't need to have experienced church hurt to participate. Your perspective matters whether you've been attending church for decades, recently changed congregations, or are simply curious about what makes a church healthy.

Event Details

Saturday, November 14, 2026
9:00–10:30 AM
Route 40 Diner
1705 Pulaski Highway
Bear, DE 19701
Free to attend. Everyone purchases their own food and beverages.
Come alone, bring your spouse, or invite a friend. No preparation necessary.
Please RSVP so we can plan seating.

Meet Your Hosts

Rev. Dr. Nigel Black and his wife, Terry, are planting Common Ground, a new Christian church serving the Bear/Newark area of Delaware.
Nigel is a pastor, author, and Bible scholar with nearly 20 years of pastoral ministry experience and a Ph.D. in Biblical Studies. He currently teaches biblical studies and religion at the college level.
Together, Nigel and Terry are passionate about developing genuine Christian community rooted in biblical truth, healthy relationships, meaningful discipleship, and service to others.
Common Ground's vision: Every disciple formed. Every disciple mobilized.

About The Table

The Table is a growing Christian community centered on real life, real faith, and genuine relationships.
We gather throughout the week for engaging Bible studies, honest conversations, encouragement, and meaningful friendships.
We're also inviting Christians interested in helping shape Common Ground, a new church community serving the Bear/Newark area of Delaware.
Whether you're seeking practical wisdom, new Christian friendships, or a place where your voice and perspective matter, there's a seat for you at The Table!