Carb-Loading for Humanity: The Great Italian Potluck 4

Before a major race, serious marathoners carb-load to fill their bodies with fuel. We are borrowing this respected athletic technique, removing the deeply unnecessary running, and redirecting all those carbohydrates toward the human brain.

We will consume heroic quantities of homemade pasta, bread, and tiramisu. Once we reach peak carbohydrate saturation, we will see whether our supercharged brains produce an idea capable of advancing humanity. It is an important scientific experiment, and we are bravely volunteering as test subjects.

The first two trials filled in minutes. Clearly, the work must continue.

How to Join the Research Team:

✅ Make a Firm Commitment to Attend
RSVP “Yes” only when you are genuinely coming. If your plans are still wobbling like a tower of lasagna, please wait until they firm up.

🍝 Bring a Handmade Italian Dish
No culinary greatness is required. Simply make an Italian dish from scratch and bring it proudly. If you are bringing a guest, bring two dishes so everyone contributes equally to the research.

🥤 Bring Your Own Beverage and Serving Utensils
Bring whatever you would like to drink, plus the utensil needed to serve your dish. Arrive with your food ready to serve because our microwave cannot reheat the entire Italian peninsula.

💬 Post Your Dish in the Comments
Tell us what you are bringing so we can avoid unnecessary duplication. Science can withstand many things, but thirty pans of lasagna may alter Earth’s orbit.

📅 Cancel at Least Three Days Ahead
If your plans change, update your RSVP at least three days before the dinner so someone else can take your place. Vanishing at the last minute leaves a painful hole in both the guest list and our carbohydrate projections.

Possible Side Effects:
🍝 Losing all understanding of what constitutes a reasonable portion.
🧀 Attempting to solve personal problems by adding Parmesan.
🛋️ Experiencing brilliant ideas that cannot be remembered after the sofa nap.

Claim your place now. Science needs you, and this time it has brought a wheelbarrow.