Carb-Loading for Humanity: The Great Italian Potluck 2

Long-distance runners eat extra carbohydrates before a race to optimize performance. We’re borrowing this respected athletic strategy, eliminating all that senseless running, and redirecting all this carbohydrate energy to supercharge our brains.

At this Italian potluck, a courageous team of selfless heroes will put their bodies in peril by consuming heroic quantities of homemade pasta, bread, risotto, and tiramisu. Once fully carb-loaded, we will discover whether our supercharged brains can produce ideas capable of advancing humanity.

This path will be perilous, yet delicious. If no breakthrough occurs, we will go back for seconds and continue the research.

How to Join the Research Trial:

✅ Make a Firm Commitment to Attend
RSVP “Yes” only when you are sure you can come. Scientific progress cannot depend on research subjects who suddenly remember they might have other plans.

🍝 Bring a Handmade Italian Dish
Choose an Italian dish and make it yourself. No need for exceptional skill, or an Italian grandma shouting corrections from the doorway. Honest effort and slightly lopsided carbohydrates are warmly welcome.

👥 Bringing a Guest? Bring Two Dishes
Every participant contributes one dish. Humanity cannot move forward while your guest rides on the back of your lasagna.

⏰ Arrive on Time
Leave home a few minutes early so your dish arrives ready for the experiment. Pasta waits for no one, and focaccia becomes judgmental when kept waiting.

🥤 Bring Your Own Beverage & Serving Utensils
Bring something to drink and the proper utensil for serving your dish. Food should arrive completely ready to serve, since forty hungry scientists cannot divide baked ziti with a butter knife and optimism.

💬 Post Your Dish in the Comments Section
Tell us what you plan to bring so we can create a varied Italian feast. Without this critical data, the study could produce 28 lasagnas and one exhausted green bean.

📅 Need to Cancel? Tell Us Three Days Ahead of Time
If your plans change, update your RSVP at least three days before the event so someone on the waiting list has time to shop, cook, and join the research team.

Known Side Effects:
🥖 Referring to garlic bread as laboratory equipment.
🍰 Congratulating yourself for your bravery while accepting a third piece of tiramisu.
🛋️ Awakening from a sofa nap convinced that you saved humanity, but unable to remember how.

Sign up now. Humanity is counting on us, and frankly, we deserve to be congratulated for making such an enormous sacrifice.